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50 Shades of Gray in a Mistress point of view.

Aug 192019

When the BDSM movie 50 Shades of Gray was on the theaters and everyone was talking about it, I decided to watch it. I understood why people thought it was exciting and it was because it was new and different. But for a Mistress like myself, that has been into a D/s relationship for many years, it could not be further from reality.


A Good Master is the man that communicates, listens, cares, and teaches the submissive. He doesn't impose, hurts, buys, threats and pushes boundaries whenever he feels like it, as in the movie.

In my point of view, Master Gray was more of a traumatized guy that wanted to hurt someone as a relief of his own frustrations. So he finds this poor naive girl that has nothing; no money, no personality, and no life to play with.

Yes, that's a good combination for a D/s relationship, a combination made in heaven; but only if you know how to handle it. But everything happened so fast, he did not teach her anything, he just kept pushing and pushing until he scared her away and when that happened, he starts begging for her to stay.

Nothing made sense to me. Cero communication; he didn't even explain to her what she was getting into. She was astonished by this charming millionaire that was gifting her with everything she would have ever dreamed of and fell for him. She even signed a contract in which she was giving him permission to do with her mind and body anything he wanted.

That's not how it works at all, they missed the essence of it...TRUST!!! And building Trust takes TIME!

The whole movie was based in errors that some Masters and Mistresses make when we are learning about this lifestyle. I will use myself as an example: I always knew I was the Dominant kind of Woman, so vanilla relationships would bore me to death. When I finally decided to do something about it, I read a lot and also watched many videos about BDSM, D/s, fetishes, kinks, etc. I did that for months and I was incredibly excited because finally I have found what I really wanted.

When I thought I was prepared I found my first submissive man, and what did I do? Just as Mister Gray did. I didn't communicate enough, I didn't care as I should, I pushed boundaries too soon, I hurt and scared him away.

As you can see, it's a process that takes time if you really want to have a long lasting D/s relationship.

A Master just like a Mistress need to be open to listening to their subs. You have to teach not impose, and patience from both sides is extremely important; that's how Trust is built! Boundaries are to be respected, there is a safe word for a reason. Do not push too hard, take small steps or the relationship will fail as mine did and as Mr. Gray's did.

For someone that is vanilla and has no idea about BDSM, it might be a good movie; but for people that belong to a BDSM lifestyle like me, it is not because we do understand the intention of it. 



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