BDSM Dating Advices

Consider this your master guide to BDSM dating

The Ultimate Beginner's Guide to BDSM

Jan 102023



1. Learn the basics of BDSM.

• Understand the different types of BDSM activities, such as bondage, discipline, dominance/submission, and sadomasochism.

• Understand the risks and safety measures associated with BDSM activities.


2. Talk to your partner about BDSM.

• Discuss your desires and boundaries in detail.

• Set limits and discuss your expectations.

• Establish a safe word.


3. Get to know BDSM gear.

• Invest in quality BDSM gear to ensure safety.

• Learn how to use it correctly.


4. Explore BDSM activities.

• Start with gentle activities and then progress to more intense activities.

• Experiment with different activities to find what works for you.


5. Practice communication.

• Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your experience and feelings.

• Respect each other’s boundaries and limits.


6. Take care of yourself.

• Make sure to take breaks when needed and practice self-care.

• Pay attention to your body and mind to ensure you’re having a positive experience.

Going to your First BDSM Play Party

Jun 062022

The kinky BDSM play party

A BDSM play party is a rally of like-minded, fetish individuals who enjoy BDSM. At this formal or informal party, people pair off into groups and enjoy doing BDSM things to one another while other kinky people watch.

Usually done in a private area that's closed to the public, it might seem hard to find and gain entrance to a BDSM party. However, once you find yourself active on, you're going to see the opportunities to enjoy this unique type of sexual experience everywhere you look.

Going to a BDSM party for the first time can be scary, though. Not only is it a sexually-charged environment, but it's likely to be one where you have no idea what the standards or customs are. 



How Do I Find a BDSM Party?

Finding a BDSM party is step one to getting to attend one. The easiest way to find your local BDSM parties are through your local contact on Get involved! While some people put on private play parties in their homes, most play parties are put on by BDSM groups. The easiest way to find a BDSM party is through networking and knowing what's going on.

Depending on where you live, you may need to be prepared to make a bit of a drive in order to find a play party in the near future. 

As you search for parties, you'll find different "types." As you become more familiar with BDSM, you'll be able to pick them out at a glance. Large, group events will allow almost anyone to register as long as you pay the higher entrance fee. These events normally have educational courses alongside the parties. They are designed to be more like a full-service conference than an evening's enjoyment. Smaller, more-private events may have other prerequisites before you can attend, but these types of events are designed for a single evening of fun.


What Are the Requirements to Attend a BDSM Party?

Every party has its own requirements. If you're looking at attending an event for a local group, it's important that you ask or read about the requirements before attempting to RSVP for a party. Some common requirements include attending multiple munches, being vetted by a current member, attending a new member orientation, or being an active member of another reputable kink group.

Most groups will require an RSVP to the party after you meet the other prerequisites. This RSVP usually requires the revealing of your full, legal name as well as your scene name so that they may match your ID at the door once you arrive. Never show up to a play party uninvited. Always submit your RSVP if you plan on attending or be prepared to be turned away at the door. This process is for all of the party goer's safety and privacy.

50 Shades of Gray in a Mistress point of view.

Aug 192019

When the BDSM movie 50 Shades of Gray was on the theaters and everyone was talking about it, I decided to watch it. I understood why people thought it was exciting and it was because it was new and different. But for a Mistress like myself, that has been into a D/s relationship for many years, it could not be further from reality.


A Good Master is the man that communicates, listens, cares, and teaches the submissive. He doesn't impose, hurts, buys, threats and pushes boundaries whenever he feels like it, as in the movie.

In my point of view, Master Gray was more of a traumatized guy that wanted to hurt someone as a relief of his own frustrations. So he finds this poor naive girl that has nothing; no money, no personality, and no life to play with.

Yes, that's a good combination for a D/s relationship, a combination made in heaven; but only if you know how to handle it. But everything happened so fast, he did not teach her anything, he just kept pushing and pushing until he scared her away and when that happened, he starts begging for her to stay.

Nothing made sense to me. Cero communication; he didn't even explain to her what she was getting into. She was astonished by this charming millionaire that was gifting her with everything she would have ever dreamed of and fell for him. She even signed a contract in which she was giving him permission to do with her mind and body anything he wanted.

That's not how it works at all, they missed the essence of it...TRUST!!! And building Trust takes TIME!

The whole movie was based in errors that some Masters and Mistresses make when we are learning about this lifestyle. I will use myself as an example: I always knew I was the Dominant kind of Woman, so vanilla relationships would bore me to death. When I finally decided to do something about it, I read a lot and also watched many videos about BDSM, D/s, fetishes, kinks, etc. I did that for months and I was incredibly excited because finally I have found what I really wanted.

When I thought I was prepared I found my first submissive man, and what did I do? Just as Mister Gray did. I didn't communicate enough, I didn't care as I should, I pushed boundaries too soon, I hurt and scared him away.

As you can see, it's a process that takes time if you really want to have a long lasting D/s relationship.

A Master just like a Mistress need to be open to listening to their subs. You have to teach not impose, and patience from both sides is extremely important; that's how Trust is built! Boundaries are to be respected, there is a safe word for a reason. Do not push too hard, take small steps or the relationship will fail as mine did and as Mr. Gray's did.

For someone that is vanilla and has no idea about BDSM, it might be a good movie; but for people that belong to a BDSM lifestyle like me, it is not because we do understand the intention of it. 



The meaning of being collared by your Master.

Aug 072019


Being collared by your Master is the one item that is the most important. The collar has great value to a submissive and a pride to her Master., by wearing it you will show your level of commitment and the power of your offering. It is a reminder to you of the strength and ownership your Master has and a reinforcement of your identity as his.

Others will know that you are already owned and you are not anymore your own person. It shows the power of the relationship you have, and undeniable bond between you and your Master.

To start, many Masters choose a common dog collar. If it is possible, ask your Master if you may go with him to buy it. The trip to the pet shop to get it, and trying it on in public, is one of the most intense and sexually arousing moments a Master and slave can have early in the process.

Putting that collar around your neck and buckling it around your neck is an important initiation for you as a submissive.

Your Master will also gift you with a “symbolic collar” to wear in public so the vanilla world won’t be aware of your status. You will be wearing it always; to work, around family and friends and you will never take it off, until the moment you can wear the pet collar he wants you to use when with him.

Usually the public collar is a necklace (sometimes bracelet) with a lock, heart or other meaningful symbol of your submission. Wear it proudly and enjoy the connection to your Master at all times.

Once you are collared, your submission will be total, he chose you for a reason. Your Master now owns you and you belong to him completelly.


Jul 252019

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If you think you’ve seen it all, check out and think again. As part of the SSL Network of online dating websites, is the best place for serious BDSM dating. When it comes to alternative adult BDSM dating, membership numbers correlates with variety, and it's certainly the spice of life at The website puts itself out there as the reference for BDSM lifestyles, and it certainly does not disappoint. 

Price-wise, is very attractive. When you consider the powerful features, it actually represents great value for money. We’ve seen plenty of other alternative adult dating websites which offer a far inferior service at much higher price.

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The importance of Gratitude in a D/s relationship.

Jul 192019

undefinedSubmission is a change in life that not only changes the way you dress, act and relate to each other. It truly shifts your life viewpoint in the long term.


One of the greatest gifts your Master will be giving you as a submissive/slave is the teaching of gratitude. You will become thankful for the smallest things and the largest surprises.

You are no longer going to take stuff for granted and you are not going to have a list of expectations, but you will learn to be grateful for everything that’s given to you. Submission is in many respects the ideal antidote to our selfish social culture.

Be grateful for everything that gets you through the day with your submission. If you are given tasks by the Master, thank him for the privilege of serving him.

Activity provides you the opportunity to add to your time a range. Once you've been sitting at his feet for most of the evening looking off in the distance, a opportunity to get up, get him some tea or do the dishes will be like heaven.

More than that, being thankful for the tasks he assigns you is a way of acknowledging to him that his pleasure is your pleasure and you love to meet his needs.

Pay attention; If your Master gives you permission to eat, enjoy intimacy, leave the room, etc., you will always say,“Thank you, Master.” You do not thank your Master only for the good things, but for the harsh things as well, this is exactly what’s expected from you!

To learn and to grow takes time, energy and patience from your Master. Punishment and correction will be involved. He will decide the best way to do it; just keep in mind, it is equally exhausting and challenging for both of you.

Thank him for his spankings, his corrections, his lectures and for giving you another chance to learn. The more you thank your Master for the punishments and guidance he gives you, the more firmly entrenched in his love and power you will become.

Developing a heart complete of appreciation is one of the best in all the ways you develop in grace through your practice.


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